


Hidden Demons

by BleachStuck415



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: (Minor) yukio/shiemi, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, Its rin, M/M, Self-Hatred, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Swearing, Unreliable Narrator, depressed character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14929257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleachStuck415/pseuds/BleachStuck415
Summary: The name of Rin's soulmate has sat on his arm his entire life, and after Yukio met his it only made him more excited to find his own.But then Satan is possessing his dad, and suddenly he's theson of Satan, and his entire world has been turned upside down.The last place he expected to find his soulmate is in a classroom of students training to kill half of what Rin is.And yet...





	Hidden Demons

**Author's Note:**

> This fic took me uhhhhh 2 years to write because im a slow bitch and also i dont get _fic_ ideas i get _scene _ideas. The uh. The scene in the classroom is the first one i ever wrote and yelling at Amaimon is the second. You can probably tell idk. Enjoy!__

Rin doesn't expect exorcist school to be easy, but that doesn't mean he isn't excited. He hasn't been to school in years - not since he unofficially dropped out. It'll be a new experience for him!

Predictably, like everything else in his life, this all goes to shit.

The moment he steps foot in the classroom, Rin can tell he's out of his league. Every other student in the room has an undercurrent of determination to them that Rin doesn't have yet. He knows he'll get there - it's just a question of if it'll be fast enough to keep up.

And then his younger brother steps into the room and announces himself as their teacher and everything gets worse.

He struggles in class - learning from textbooks has always been boring, and he finds it hard to concentrate or to focus on the words. The first test he hands in comes back with a three percent score, and the next is just as bad. And the next. And the next.

Eventually, his classmates notice. One gets particularly angry.

"What's your problem?" His classmate snaps to him unprompted one day. It draws the eyes of everyone in the room as Rin looks up in surprise and Yukio watches wearily from his desk. "If you don't wanna be here, then get out."

Rin just blinks up at him, confused. "I don't know what you mean," he says slowly, hoping to avoid an argument.

If anything, this only makes his classmate more enraged. "You- you-" he stutters for a moment, but then his expression hardens. "You sleep in class all the time - you _never_ get good grades. The rest of us are here to learn, and you're just a distraction! If you're not gonna put your full effort in then what are you even doing here?!"

"Suguro-kun," Yukio calls in warning, and the name doesn't register in Rin's mind because he's busy trying to contain his anger. But Yukio's words cause the other to falter, and that's all Rin needs to act.

He stands from his chair abruptly, loud in the sudden silence. There's anger in his expression, although he tries to hide it. "You don't even know anything about me," he says lowly.

"I think I can get enough from your attitude in class," Suguro growls back.

Rin raises an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side, fists clenched. "Oh yeah?" He hears Yukio coming towards the two of them now, intending to stop them before a fight can break out, but Rin's too strung up. "And am I allowed to know the name of the guy who thinks he can know someone he's never had a conversation with before? Or am I too _lowly_ for you?"

The other tsks, anger spasming on his forehead. "The name's Suguro Ryuuji," he answers. His mouth opens to say more, but Rin's face pales immediately, eyes going wide and mouth dropping open. It causes confusion, and Suguro's words die in his throat.

By now Yukio has reached them and stands between the two of them, even though he's heard the entire conversation and he knows what just happened - knows exactly the thoughts that are running through his brother's head. Rin uses it as an excuse to leave, because he _has to get away_ , what the _fuck_  are the chances of him finding his soulmate _here_ of all places, where he's training to kill half of what Rin is.

If that was rock bottom, then fate hands Rin a pick-axe and he chips away into the ground.

They fight demons called Reapers in class the next day, and although he _tries_  to ignore his soulmate, Suguro gets into a fucking _argument_ somehow. The Kamiki girl says something to him, and before anyone can blink Suguro is charging down into the pit to prove his worth and his determination to achieve his goal.

Fear strikes within Rin, originating from the words on his arm, clutching at his ribs with it's icy grasp. It makes him move without thinking, and before he knows it he's blocking the Reaper from attacking Suguro ( _thank God_  he was in his right mind enough to not draw his sword - the thing is luckily still sheathed on his back when the Reaper clenches it's teeth around him).

It turns out that Suguro wants to kill Satan, and Rin'll figure later that that's fair enough, but in that moment it just _pisses him off_ , because if anyone has the right to that goal, then its him (not that he's going to  _tell_ anyone that's his mission in life; he's keeping himself separated from his classmates as much as possible - it'll hurt less when they turn on him after they find out the truth).

"Don't be so fucking _stupid_ ," Rin spits, whirling to face Suguro with anger in his eyes after he's subdued the Reaper. "You wanna defeat Satan?! Then stop being such a fucking _child_  and doing crazy shit! D'you wanna _die_  before you can get there?! Huh?!"

"Shut the fuck up," Suguro argues back, glaring up at Rin. "Stop makin' fun of me-"

"I'm- holy shit, i'm _not making fun of you_!" Rin yells, throwing his hands up in the air. "You _want_ to kill Satan, right? So fucking _own it_  - don't let yourself get all riled up by dumb classmates!" He hears Kamiki scoff in the background, but he doesn't give a shit about her right now. "Your aspirations are _yours_ , and you can't let people _take them away from you_ , or _try to tell you how to do it_." He leans down and grabs Suguro's arm, yanking him to his feet, ignoring his shocked expression. "Get up and be _proud_ of what you want. You have a goal, now _work towards it_  and _make it happen_."

And then Rin leaves. All the fight drains from him as soon as he turns the corner and is hidden from view, his body shaking after that entire fiasco. Holy shit, why is his soulmate so fucking stupid?! Why does he have to be so hotheaded?!

Why does he have to want to kill Satan?

That's something that Rin doesn't understand, and Suguro's declaration ("i'm gonna _kill Satan_!") runs through his head. He stays there, leaning against the wall for a while, catching his breath and willing his limbs to still.

Eventually, he feels stable enough to leave, and he rushes to his dorm room as fast as he can on wobbling legs, where he collapses on his bed. Turning his face into his pillow, he screams, beating it with his fists even as his tail writhes furiously in the air and tears gather in his eyes.

Because the words on Rin's wrist - that had been there for as long as he can remember, written in messy scrawl - read 'Suguro Ryuuji', and yet, as that whole _mess_  of an encounter still hums in his veins, Rin tries to convince himself that his classmate could never be his soulmate - _hoping_ that there's someone else with the same name out there. _How_  can they be intended to be together by the universe itself when they have the same ambition, when the other would _hate him so much_  once he found out _Rin's secret_?

It's like some sort of a sick joke. Is that it? Can the universe get bored? It's finally gotten bored of watching everyone so it's decided to fuck up Rin's life entirely and reap the enjoyment of seeing him suffer. That's the only reason Rin can think of as to why so much of his life is collapsing down around him so suddenly.

Yukio comes up to their room an hour later - way too early for school to be done for the day. Rin doesn't look at him, just tries to bury further into his bed even as the other comes to sit next to him, perched on the edge. Gently, cautiously, Yukio's fingers move to wrap around Rin's wrist, bringing it out from it's hiding place beneath the pillow and exposing it to the light.

Adept fingers remove the cover hiding the words, causing Rin to flinch. He makes no move to retract his wrist though, allowing Yukio to see the words - even though he already knows them as well as his own, he needs the clarification again. With a small sigh, Yukio re-covers the words, putting the hand back where he found it and patting his brother's back.

"It will get better," Yukio murmurs, soothingly rubbing his hand up and down Rin's back. "The universe doesn't make mistakes."

"What if it has this time?" Rin mutters angrily - sadly - into his pillow, tears coming again despite his best efforts. "I'm not exactly human-"

"Neither am I," Yukio cuts in. "And I found my soulmate. Now that you've found yours, it'll only get better."

"How can you say that?" Rin asks, rolling over to look Yukio in the eye and dislodging the other's hand. "I'm the one with Satan's flames, i'm the one who's _abnormal_. Of course _you_ get to be happy!" Rin snaps. "You're perfect and I'm a mess-" Yukio opens his mouth to interrupt, but Rin just raises his voice and keeps going. "-At least your soulmate isn't going to hate you when you tell them what you are!"

Silence. And this is it, right? This is the fucking root of the problem. As Rin's eyes fill with water and tears roll down his cheeks, Yukio leans down, wrapping his brother in a hug.

"I'm sorry," Yukio murmurs, his eyes downcast. He tucks Rin's head into his shoulder and grips him tightly, Rin squeezing just as hard.

Rin doesn't answer - he only tries to breathe through this sudden onslaught of tears. Never in his entire life - not even when he hurt dad at school - has he ever felt the need to die so intensely before.

 

 

* * *

  

 

Rin approaches Miwa and Shima as soon as he sees them away from Suguro. He doesn't know when his soulmate will be back, but for now his two friends are alone in the dining hall, so Rin takes this opportunity.

They're sitting next to each other on one side, so they both see him coming. Shima raises a hand, waving and tossing a cheerful grin, while Miwa nods in greeting.

"Hey, uh- I wanted to ask you something," Rin begins.

"If it's school related then i'm out," Shima warns.

"No, it's not school stuff," Rin says. "Or- at least I don't _think_  it is?"

Shima and Miwa exchange a bewildered look, before Miwa gestures at the available chairs. "Sit down and let's see if we can help!"

"It's about Suguro," Rin says once he's seated, and suddenly he has both of their full attentions. Before his words, Shima was leaning back and only half paying attention, but now he's sitting up straight: focused. Miwa is the same. He almost runs under the combined focus of their gazes, but he presses forward. "A couple days ago, in the class with the Reapers," Rin starts, and the other two relax minutely, but are still tense. "He said his goal is to 'kill Satan,' and- well. I'm wondering-"

"You want to know why, right?" Shima cuts in. He leans back slightly, a hand on his chin. Miwa is watching him as intensely as Rin is, seemingly satisfied to let Shima decide on this one. "Why not ask him yourself?"

Rin recoils. "I- you _saw_  what happened the last time I talked to him," he says, eyebrows furrowing. "I don't think he likes me very much." The mark on his arm feels cold at his words.

Shima and Miwa exchange a glance again. "Alright," Shima says. "We'll tell you."

"You see," Miwa begins, taking over the explanation. "Our temple was destroyed by the Blue Night. Bon's been doing his best to rebuild it since then, but..."

"Wait, hold up a sec," Rin cuts in. "What's the Blue Night?"

Shima and Miwa blink at him. And then blink again. "You really don't know?" Shima asks in disbelief. "That's rare."

"The Blue Night happened sixteen years ago," Miwa explains. "On that night, Satan murdered a huge number of the world's holy men, and our temple was one of the victims. Ossama said that during that night, the exorcists at the temple started bleeding from everywhere, and breathed blue fire as they died.

"Ever since, the temple has been called 'the Cursed Temple'," Miwa concludes sadly. "We lost a lot of worshippers. The place was ruined before Bon could even walk."

Rin stares down at the table in silence, his eyes wide. Satan had- he had... "This happened all around the world?" Rin asks quietly.

"Yes," Miwa answers, raising an eyebrow.

"How many people died because of it?"

"Thousands," Shima says, blinking slowly. "Thousands of exorcists."

Rin slowly releases a breath. The flames that he had inherited had killed thousands of people worldwide. Even more than that, they had destroyed Suguro's temple. Suguro had _grown up_  with that over his head his entire life.

"No wonder he hates Satan."

He doesn't realise he's said that out loud until Shima is laughing. "Yeah, I suppose so. Still, killing Satan? That's a child's dream."

"Why's that?" Rin asks before he can stop himself.

Shima just blinks at him like he's an idiot - and maybe he is, but both him and Suguro have the same goal, and Mephisto _did_ laugh at him when he said it at the graveyard.

"I mean it's _Satan_ ," Shima argues. "The most powerful demon ever?"

"No one's even _seen_  him, let alone ever injured him," Miwa pipes up.

"Doesn't mean he can't try," Rin says, shrugging. "Might as well aim for the top."

"We heard your speech in class, you don't need to rehash it," Shima says. "It was _pretty_  inspirational - I was almost motivated to find _my own_  goal in life!"

"Yeah, well, he may've been a _dick_ , but I wasn't gonna let him _die_ ," Rin mutters. "I didn't even _mean_ to say all that - he just pissed me off."

"You must have a pretty big goal yourself," Miwa muses. "If you brushed off the idea of killing Satan so easily."

Rin gives a small smile. "Something like that," he says, and then stands. "Well, sorry to have bothered you. I gotta go."

"It's chill - you're actually pretty cool," Shima says. "Hang with us sometime - don't let Bon's attitude stop you."

A blink, but then Rin's smile turns sincere (he uses it to hide his sadness - he's not going to sit with them - he can't bring himself to do it). "I'd like that," he says; it isn't a lie. And then he's gone from the dining room.

The flames under Rin's skin, that are sealed _in his sword_ , which _he can control_ , were used sixteen years ago to massacre people all around the world. _Sixteen years_. It's not a coincidence that Rin's age lines up with that event - at least, he doesn't think so. That must've been when him and Yukio were. You know. _Made_. Although, Rin can't think of _why_  Satan would do something so _ev_ _il_  besides the fact that he's literally the devil.

Either way, Rin figures he was basically born to be a fuck up because of this. Thanks for the defective genes, _dad_. His dad destroyed his soulmate's life before Rin was even born, and really, how cursed do you have to be for that happen?

That whole conversation had only solidified Rin's desire to keep out of Suguro's life - he doesn't know if he'll be able to live with himself if Suguro suffers anymore because of him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It's just Rin's luck that he finds himself in the middle of a fight between the two most hotheaded students in his class. It's _also_ just his luck that Yukio - his sweet, caring younger brother - decides to _punish the entire class_ like he's God punishing humans after the Garden of Eden - Suguro and Kamiki are Adam and Eve while Rin and the rest of his classmates are all of humanity, who are being punished by Original Sin.

"It's important to realise that _no exorcist fights alone_ ," Yukio says, glancing at Rin for longer than the two who actually started this mess (as if Yukio thinks Rin doesn't fucking _know_  that, but what the fuck is he _supposed to do_  when he was born like this?)

Then Yukio is leaving for _t_ _hree entire fucking hours_ and leaving them locked in here, causing the two to immediately start arguing again. And this is just a metaphor for his life - it's not enough that Rin gets Original Sin, he gets extra punishment for all the fuck ups he's ever done and because of who his father is, and it shows here by the fact that Rin is in danger of getting smacked in the head again by his bickering classmates. He _knows_  they're not doing it to be mean to him, because he _did_  save Kamiki and Paku yesterday and he's got the fact that she cried to hold over her (not that he'd ever fucking _actually_  use that against her - holy shit he knows what it's like to cry in a situation like that). Even so, he's about had enough of this shit.

"Can you guys fuckin' _stop_  doin' this when i'm between the two of you?" Rin demands angrily.

"Don't talk to me until you decide to give out your name," Kamiki spits immediately.

"It's common goddamn decency not to have an argument with someone when someone else is _l_ _iterally in the fuckin' middle of it_ ," Rin argues back.

"She does have a point, though," Shima adds completely unapologetically, ignoring Rin's attempt to ignore that topic. "We've been classmates for over a month and you haven't told any of us your name."

"Maybe I just don't wanna tell you it," Rin retorts weakly. He knows no answer he gives will be enough for them, but he's hoping he'll be able to put it off for the full three hours (Suguro can't find out about his fucking name because then he'll want to _hang out_  and Rin just hurts anyone he's close to. It's better this way).

"Why not?" Miwa asks, moving one hand from the rock demon to push his glasses up his nose. "It will help build better teamwork."

Rin just sighs. How is he supposed to answer that? 'I don't want to tell you because then you'll find out i'm your friend's soulmate and i'll have to tell him i'm the son of the bastard he wants to kill who fucked up his temple and destroyed his childhood.' Yeah, no- not happening.

"It's for personal reasons that I don't wanna get into," Rin says instead.

Shiemi's eyebrows furrow together and she opens her mouth to talk, and oh _f_ _uck_ , Shiemi doesn't know anything. She doesn't know why Rin is keeping his identity a secret because he's a bad friend and hasn't told her _anything_  yet.

"But," she says, hands dropped limpy to the floor under the strain of the rock. "But I-"

"Shiemi," Rin says lowly. "Please don't. I _promise_  i've got a good reason and i'll tell you as soon as this is over. _Please._ "

Blinking once, she just looks at him, mouth hanging open. But then she nods hesitantly. "Okay."

And then the lights go off and there isn't much room for talking in the immediate following chaos.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Rin will have to tell Suguro his name eventually, and for now Yukio is happy to help him sidestep it whenever it comes up. It's easy to dance around his classmate's questions by running after class and ducking away from them in the hallways. He _begs_ Shiemi not to say anything, and she agrees, albeit confusedly (she's such a good friend and Rin _hates_  doing this to her - god, he's such a fuck up).

But Yukio has his own system of believes.

"I'll tell him for you," Yukio offers one day before class starts. Rin had gotten there early for once, and he _was_  pretty proud of himself for that, but then his brother had brought up _this_  conversation. Rin knows he's just trying to be helpful - that's his brother to the core, always wanting and always needing to help (meanwhile Rin makes a mess wherever he goes), but he doesn't need this right now.

Rin shakes his head immediately. "No I... don't want that," he says lamely, unable to put into words how _fucked up_  it would be if he told Suguro what they're supposed to be to each other, and every other secret on top of that which would come out with it.

"Finding your soulmate is..." Yukio begins, and Rin can't bare to hear this speech _again_. "It's like finding that last bit of hope you didn't know you had. I think that you need that - _both_  of you. I've never been happier than since I met her."

"Good for you, Yukio," Rin says sincerely. "I'm happy for you. But I _can't_."

"Rin, _listen to me_ -"

"No, _you_  listen to _me,_ " Rin cuts in. "You don't understand how _bad_  this is. It's- this is _nightmare scenario_."

"I understand, Rin," Yukio says with a sigh. He tries to sound reassuring. "You're terrified because of your powers. But as your soulmate, he'll be understanding. Everything will be okay."

" _Please_  don't do this to me," Rin begs, voice low. "I'll never ask for anything ever again, so _please_ -"

The door opens a fraction almost silently, unseen and unheard by both brothers.

"Rin-" Yukio tries, but Rin doesn't let him.

"You _can't_ \- how am I supposed to fucking-" Rin throws his hands up in the air. " _I can't do that to him_ , so don't do this to _me_." He sees himself as a disease - he's already destroyed his father with it, and who knows if it'll happen to Yukio - he doesn't want to fuck up Suguro too ( _you've already done that_ , a part of his mind whispers, _just by being born_ ).

"Soulmates aren't like that," Yukio tries, his arms raised as if he wants to wrap his brother in a hug. "The universe-"

"'The universe doesn't make mistakes', I _know_." Rin spits. "It's all you've been saying _since we met him_." All of a sudden, Rin's mood does a one-eighty, a sigh emerging from his lips and his shoulders drooping as he runs his hands across his face. "He- Yukio, he _literally_  wants to kill Satan. Like, this guy woke up one day and decided 'fuck that blue flamey asshole, i'm going to stab him-' don't get me wrong! I'm not faulting that! I made that _my_ life mission too as soon as I saw the bastard light up dad with that blue shit!

"But- how am I supposed to _explain_ -" Rin bites his lip, fighting back the tears he knows are trying to escape. "How am I supposed to explain _myself_  in a way that gets around that? Like 'sorry Satan's flames killed your temple and basically fucked up your entire childhood, but he killed my dad too! And I _promise_  mine are different-' do you fucking _see_ why that wouldn't work? Do you really _truly_  honestly believe that he won't hate me for this- no matter _how_  I try to explain-"

"We're _both_  his sons, Rin-"

"It's great that you think that way, Yukio!" Rin says with false bravado. "But guess what? _You've_  known _longer_ than me! _You've_  had time to come to terms with this! Me? I found out _three months ago_  when a demon tried to beat me into submission, and I flamed up, then got dad _fucking killed_!

"And, even more than that!" Rin claps his hands together. " _I'm_  the one who got the asshole's fucking flame powers, so goody for me!"

The classroom falls silent, the occupants and the watchers outside at a loss for words as they process what was said.

"Dad's death wasn't your fault," Yukio eventually says, quietly. "We should've prepared you better- had a better plan than just 'shove him out the door with the sword and make sure he doesn't break the seal.' The entire monastry are at fault for that - we all knew.

"As for your flames-" Yukio's voice finds more confidence. "-you'll learn to control them. I'll help you - call in a favour from a friend. You're not alone."

"Thanks, Yukio," Rin murmurs quietly, eyes on the floor, and Yukio gives in to the urge to hug his brother, pulling Rin in to cry on his shoulder.

Their classmates wait outside the door for a few minutes, processing everything they had just heard. Then someone takes the plunge and knocks on the door. "We... hear crying?" Shima's voice calls. "Is lesson cancelled?" He sounds hopeful.

Yukio shifts his position slightly. With a sigh, he answers, "...Yes. But make sure to read the next chapter ready for next lesson."

A chorus of 'yes sensei' is received as the students hurry off, the weight of the conversation heavy on their minds, but especially upon Suguro's.

 

 

* * *

  

 

Rin uses his flames only for an instant, but it's enough to scare off the surrounding demons.

It'a also enough - apparently - to attract Suguro's attention.

He crashes into the clearing, eyes wide. "What- what the fuck just happened?" He mutters, and startles when he sees Rin. "Oh, Okumura. It's you." Rin squares his shoulders, expecting hostility. The two of them haven't really spoken since the Reaper incident (the Ex-wire exam doesn't count - that wasn't out of choice), and he doesn't want to take the chance that the other is still mad at him.

But Suguro doesn't react with anger. "Are you okay?" He asks. "Did you see that blue light just now?"

"What blue light?" Rin asks, getting to his feet. He's confused but grateful - he doesn't know what he would do if he and his soulmate were still arguing.

Suguro looks at him oddly, before gesturing with his head and sighing. "Come on," he says. "It'd be better to travel with more people."

"W-Wait!" Rin calls after Suguro as the other turns away. Suguro stops, waiting, an eyebrow raised. "You- you want me to go with you?"

Blinking once, Suguro just looks at Rin with an expression he can't place. But then it's gone and Suguro is smirking. "I don't want you to get scared all by yourself."

Rin's eyebrows furrow together in anger. "Just admit you're the scared one!" He scurries after Suguro anyway, and a part of his heart sings to be near him - he wonders if Suguro can feel it too, and cold fear runs through his veins. A quick glance at the other's face reveals that nothing has changed, and Rin feels relief.

He _really_  doesn't like the idea of outting himself all the way out here alone in the woods.

Then Shima literally hits him in the head, and everything goes downhill from there.

 

* * *

 

Rin tries to fight the demon at the bridge by himself. It's the only thing that makes sense - _he's_  the one that summoned it, albeit accidentally, and although Suguro is being nice and _talking to him_  now, that doesn't mean he'll sacrifice his life to save him.

But then he does. And so do the rest of their team.

They jump into the fight by his side, even Shima who's shit scared of bugs. And Rin finds himself thinking that _maybe_  he can let go, once in a while. He's never had friends before - not for lack of trying - but maybe here in cram school things can be different.

He should've known never to get his hopes up.

They return to the centre of the forest to find their remaining classmates have arrived with the last two lanturns, and although that sparks an argument about how they all had to team up to get _one_  while Kamiki and Nemu didn't, Rin feels content for the first time in his life.

Then Amaimon shows up and any progress Rin might've made with his classmates goes up in flames - literally. Rin realises that he's just going to have to accept the fact that the universe is never going to throw him a bone. And that hurts, because for all that Rin has Yukio and a maybe-friend in Shiemi, he's always wanted a group of people he could just sit and talk and hang out with - the added bonus of his soulmate being here too could even seem like a dream come true!

Instead, Rin has to hide everything that he is because the universe has never given him anything, so why would it start now? Maybe- Maybe he just deserves this. It must be karma for what happened with Father Fujimoto.

Rin tells himself that this is a punishment and everything that happens is his own fault. He just wishes it didn't have to hurt so much.

 

* * *

  

Amaimon pulls Shiemi against his side and Yukio makes a choked sound from his position slumped against a tree. Rin's little brother is injured to the point of being unable to move, and Miwa crouches at his side, trying to help but unable to do much without agitating his own broken arm. Shima is in the same spot, and while he does a better job of bandaging than Miwa, it causes pain to rake across his back.

As much as Rin loves his brother and cares about the safety of his classmates, it's Suguro that Rin is most concerned about right now.

That _demon bastard_  is holding Suguro _up_  by his _throat_.

"Just stop," Rin says, voice ringing loud in the clearing. "It's _me_ you want, right?! Just let them go!"

"Little brother of mine," Amaimon answers. "You're the one that forced my hand."

Rin's lip twists into a snarl as he grips the hilt of his sword in one hand and the scabbard in the other. "This is what you're after, right?"

Upon seeing Rin's movement, Amaimon looses interest in anyone else, dropping Shiemi to the floor and throwing Suguro off slightly to the side. "Why won't you draw it?"

With a snarl, Rin takes a step forward. "Why would I want to?" He shoots back. "I don't want this fucking power-"

"There's no point in that, you know," Amaimon says in a bored tone. "Rejecting father's power is useless - all it will do is eat you from the inside until it burns you alive. Just accept it-"

"Why the _fuck_ would I want to accept _his_  power? All he's ever done is destroy," Rin spits. "Do you know something, Amaimon? He was never there for me, so I don't see why I should have to _embrace him_.

"Do you know who _was_  there? Do you know who was there when I took my first steps, and when I said my first words, and- and when I cried for the first time?" Rin takes a step forward. "What about when I got expelled, or when I got fired, or when the kids at school called me 'demon child' and didn't let me play with them?" Another step. "Do you know who held me after I woke up from nightmares, shaking because of monsters hiding in the dark?" Another. "Father Fujimoto is the only father i've _ever_  had, and he's the only one that I want."

Amaimon raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth to speak, but Rin beats him to it.

"Oh no, wait. Actually-" Rin's voice emerges with a forced cheerfulness. "I just remembered one _single_  instance when he _was_ there for me." And Rin says 'fuck it', because if his classmates can't figure out his secret from _that_ exchange of dialogue then they really need looking at, and he lets his words spill without a filter. "The _only_ time Satan was _ever_  there for me was the day he killed my father! How's that for great parenting?"

"But it wasn't father who killed Fujimoto, was it?" Amaimon muses, and Rin's blood runs cold. Behind him, he hears Yukio take a sharp intake of breath and start coughing violently. "After all, if you hadn't said _that_ , then he wouldn't have lost his concentration."

Rin's hands shake under the onslaught of memories he is suddenly assaulted with, the sword gripped within his hands dropping slightly. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts, locking burning, hateful eyes with Amaimon. "Do you _honestly_  think I didn't know that?" Rin asks quietly, but it's loud in the clearing. "I know what I did. And nothing I do will ever make up for it. But you're a fool if you think Satan doesn't deserve full responsibility!"

"And why's that?" Amaimon asks, seemingly genuinely curious.

"If he hadn't come after me in the first place then it wouldn't've _mattered_  if dad had momentarily lost concentration!" Rin argues. "What the fuck was he even doing? Was he popping around for a visit after 15- 16 years of nothing? 'Hey son, sorry i've been absent-' fuck off," He says dismissively.

"Hmmm you shouldn't talk about father that way," Amaimon says, taking a few steps forward.

"Why shouldn't I?" Rin argues. "He ruined my life by making me be born. I have every right to hate him." With that said, the time for conversation is over, and Rin draws the sword, breaking the seal and causing his body to light up in blue flames.

Someone screams (Miwa, it sounds like - Rin forces down the anguish it causes). Everyone else is stunned into silence.

Amaimon blinks at Rin for a moment, but then his mouth twists into a grin. "That's what I was waiting for." And then he pounces, his claws colliding with Rin's sword.

 

* * *

 

You're supposed to love your soulmate no matter what, and Ryuuji supposes that he does, despite what he had overheard in the classroom that day.

It makes sense that the boy who looks like their teacher - Okumura-sensei - is his brother. Therefore, when Okumura had called him 'Rin,' Ryuuji had known right away that the boy hiding his identity from all of them is his soulmate. It felt right at the time and it feels right now, even as he feels the fear Konekomaru and Renzou must have going through them as Rin draws his sword against the Earth King.

But _fuck_ though- "That sword- it's Kurikara," Ryuuji murmurs breathlessly, crawling and dragging Moriyama with him to Okumura's side to avoid the battle. Rin moves the fight away, giving them time to recover.

"What'd you say, Bon?" Renzou mutters absentmindedly, too confundled by the ongoing events to process any words.

"I _said_ that Okumura Rin has the _fucking Kouma Sword_ ," Ryuuji repeats angrily, rubbing his neck as he sits up (he's gonna have bruises after this, he can tell). He begins helping his friends dress Okumura's wounds.

"H-How do you-" Okumura starts coughing before he can finish.

"How do I know his name?" Ryuuji asks. "We overheard the two of you once, in the classroom."

Okumura's face pales and he sharply inhales.

"It's fine," Ryuuji says. "I don't care right now. I understand why he didn't tell me - I understand why he distanced himself from all of us. We're gonna have to have a long _chat_ when this is all over, though."

It's silent as Okumura processes this, his breathing loud but deep. "Is Shiemi okay?" He asks, a hand thrown carelessly in her direction.

Ryuuji turns to her, gently moving her so he can check the back of her neck. "Whatever the fuck that thing was, it's gone." Okumura breathes a sigh of relief, and on the back of Moriyama's neck he spies her soulmate's name. ' _Oh_ ', Ryuuji thinks. "She'll be fine - no major physical injuries, just unconscious." He lays her down gently at Okumura's side, and his hand stretches out the touch the back of hers.

Now that Ryuuji has his head back in order, he turns to take stock of the situation, seeing the fight unfolding in the distance. The words, 'he ruined my life by making me be born' swirl around his head. They cause something to _ache_  inside of him, and the words clench his heart in an icy fist, making him want to scoop Rin up into his arms and never let go - Ryuji supposes the bond is the cause of that, because he's never wanted to do that to someone before (Konekomaru and Renzou are different - of course he's hugged them tightly, but that's _normal_  for childhood friends). Maybe Rin'll let him do it, after all this shit has blown over.

While he watches, Kirigakure-sensei appears in the clearing, and she takes over the task of bandaging and taking stock of injuries. Not that Ryuuji notices any of this, because his eyes are locked onto the firey form of his soulmate in the distance, fighting that high level demon. The mark on his arm pulses a freezing cold, and fear shoots up the appendage and into his lungs.

"Suguro!" Kirigakure yells, her tone conveying the fact that she's been calling his name for a while. The volume of it startles Ryuuji, and he whirls to face her immediately. With one hand, she gestures to Okumura. "We need to get out of here. You're the one who's least injured - can you carry him?"

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, but then Ryuuji's expression hardens and he nods, turning his back on the fight. Between them, Kirigakure and Ryuuji manage to manuever Okumura onto Ryuuji's back. With Moriyama within her own grasp, Kirigakure leads the way back to school. Renzou and Konekomaru try their bests to support each other, but with both of their injuries it becomes hard. Once Kamiki joins them along the way, she pulls Renzou's arm over her shoulders and helps him stumble along, Konekomaru clutching his bandaged arm as he walks beside Renzou.

Ryuuji wants to turn around and keep watching the fight - his entire body is screaming at him in protest, _how dare he_ abandon his soulmate at a time like this? But Ryuuji has always had impressive self restraint, and he forces himself to keep going. He wants _so badly_ to run back and help Rin fight, but he knows he can't - he has the responsibility to see Okumura-sensei to safety, now. And besides, what can _he_ do against that high a level of a demon? Still, he aches with longing to turn back.

Ever since he'd figured out Rin is the other half to his soul, he'd thought it better to wait for the other to come to him, because Rin had _clearly_  realised it sooner, and he was keeping everything a secret. Rin's probably known since their first confrontation in the classroom that day, Ryuji muses, remembering Rin's expression and the way he left immediately after Ryuji has said his own name. And? Wow. Ryuji can't believe he missed that. To be honest, he didn't want to confront the other first because he was still reeling over the fact that his soulmate is Satan's son - he still is actually, because it's one thing to know, another thing to see (not that this changes his feelings at all. He would still die for Rin, he thinks - it just means things are a little complicated right now).

They make it as far as the school entrance before they stop, and Ryuuji can't take it anymore. He lowers Okumura to the ground, and then turns to search out his soulmate.

It doesn't take long for Ryuuji to find him, because Rin is lighting up the sky blue. Mephisto has appeared now, his hands intercepting and pulling apart Rin and the Earth King. But then the Earth King is punching Mephisto in the face, and trying to dart around him to restart the fight with Rin. Ryuuji's heart is in his throat, and he breathes a sigh of relief when Mephisto contains the Earth King away in a cuckoo clock.

This is when the new Paladin shows up.

He introduces himself and immediately starts talking about using holy water on Rin, and Ryuuji's _entire body_  protests against that.

Its Kirigakure who gets there first - probably because this fucker starts insulting her too. They talk shit for a minute, but Ryuuji's focus is on Rin again as Mephisto brings him over, his expression wild and crazed.

Rin is snarling in every direction, twisting and turning in an attempt to free himself from Mephisto's grip. For a split second, he locks eyes with Ryuuji, and his snarling seems to stop, but then his gaze moves on and he's snapping his jaw open and closed at Angel.

"Shura," Angel says, expression set, his tone serious. "Did I not say that if you were able to find something related to Satan, then _immediate_  elimination was required? Doesn't this boy _look related to Satan_?"

Everyone falls silent, tension thick in the air. Ryuuji clenches his fists, and from the corner of his eye he sees Okumura palming his waist for his pistol.

Mephisto chooses this moment to sheathe the sword, and Rin slumps to the floor like a puppet with cut strings, his flames dying out immediately. He remains upright only by Mephisto's grip on his wrist. Mephisto says something to him, then Rin is on his feet again, and Ryuuji takes a step towards them, but he doesn't get to do any more than that before Angel is drawing his own sword. Suddenly there's a blade at Rin's throat and a hand squeezing his neck, and Ryuiji stops dead, breath caught.

"By the orders of the Grigori, I will execute the spawn of Satan," Angel announces.

And even though he feels paralysed by fear, Ryuuji does what any good soulmate would do and intervenes.

Kirigakure snarls, but Ryuuji gets there first this time, his body moving before he can stop himself. Konekomaru and Renzou - all of his classmates, actually - are yelling at him, but _what the fuck_ , this is his _soulmate_ , he can't just do _nothing_.

"You can't," Ryuuji says, expression set, staring Angel in the eyes. "I won't let you do this."

"Look kid," Angel says with no sympathy, barely even looking at Ryuuji, his focus on Rin. "The Vatican isn't in the business of letting demons go free."

Angered, Ryuuji twists his arm, holding it out for Angel to see. Ryuuji has never been ashamed of his soulmark, and nothing can change that - not even the fact that his soulmate is the son of Satan, the fucker he's sworn to kill since childhood.

The movement gets Angel's attention. "Demons _don't have soulmates_ ," Ryuuji hisses as the other sees the words engraved on his arm. "Don't fucking do this." His eyes soften slightly when he hears Rin's startled inhale, but otherwise he remains unchanged.

Angel blinks at the words for a few seconds, before meeting Ryuuji's eyes. "This changes things, i'll admit." He returns his sword to where it came from, pulling Rin to his feet. "He'll still have to stand trial - his existence breaks rules, you understand. But that there? On your arm?" Angel sighs, as if saving Rin's life is a massive inconvience. "It means he's human by the universe's standards, and as such i'm obligated to get him out of this alive."

The next moment, Angel's eyes are flitting to Mephisto, Ryuji pretty much forgotten about. He takes this chance to just. _Lo_ _ok_ at Rin, observing the way he hangs limp by the grasp Angel has on the back of his collar, how he keeps his eyes trained to the ground, not looking at anyone, the way his mouth trembles as he tries to breathe steadily.

And Ryuji just- well. He _has_  to do _something_. He opens his mouth to speak, because he can't just stand here and let Rin _l_ _ook like that_ , but Rin beats him to it.

"Is... is everyone okay?" Rin asks quietly, eyes still on the floor, his hair shading them.

That isn't what Ryuji expected, but it makes sense, doesn't it? Rin cares about people, and he especially cares about the people in his class - that's been shown _numerous_  times (the Reaper incident comes to mind, along with Mepphyland and the Exwire exam). Ryuji wishes it didn't increase his fondness for this asshole.

"We're fine, you fuckin' idiot," Ryuji says. "The only one in danger here is _you_." He points accusationally, but the effect is lost because Rin _still won't look at him_.

A small smile flits across Rin's face. "That's good," he mutters. "That's good."

" _How is that good_?" Ryuji snaps, because _seriously_  what the fuck is going on here. The yelling hurts Ryuji's bruised throat but he's beyond caring. Does Rin even understand the danger he's in right now? "You're up shit creek without a paddle. You could _fucking die_  so how about you show some _goddamn concern_  about yourself for once?"

And that _finally_ causes Rin's eyes to snap up, his head lifting and his eyes wide as they meet Ryuji's. "Suguro, what-"

" _We're_  all okay right now, but _you're not_." Ryuji is distantly aware that he's borderline yelling at this point but he doesn't really care - he _does_ care about the way Mephisto's eyes narrow on him with that _dumb fucking playful smirk_ , and Angel's _fucking asshole_  calculating expression, but that can wait for another time. He points angrily in Rin's direction. "Do you understand the fact that you're literally about to go on trial in front of the _fuckin' Grigori_? They have the power to choose between your _life_ and _death_ -"

"I've never been scared of dyin', Suguro," Rin cuts in, his expression solemn, but then it shifts to determined. "It wouldn't matter if i was 'cause that's not gonna change anythin'. As long as everyone else is safe then that's all I care about." And then Angel is dragging Rin away and Mephisto and Kirigakure are going with them so he can't even ask what's going to happen.

That might be the last conversation Ryuji ever has with Okumura Rin - his soulmate - and it was just about one of the most fucked up things he's ever personally experienced.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as class is over, Shura is out of the training room and is long gone by the time Rin gets to the door. She must have plans, Rin figures, thinking about the nap he's going to take as soon as he gets back to his dorm. He's just so tired recently, everything that's been happening leaving him emotionally drained. He's making progress on his control, but it's slow going. And he _knows_  he should talk to his classmates (ex-classmates? God he doesn't fucking know anymore), but he doesn't know what to even _say_  to them-

Unfortunately, his plans of a nice nap are interrupted when he steps out of the door and a hand grabs him by the wrist.

With a startled jolt, he turns to the offending person, surprise on his face when he finds Suguro. "We need to talk," he says, and Rin lets the air drain out of him.

"Yeah, okay," Rin answers softly.

Shiemi is also waiting outside, and Yukio links his unbroken hand with hers as he exits the classroom. But he pauses, an eyebrow raised in his brother's direction (God, Rin loves his brother so much sometimes).

"It's fine, Yukio," Rin says. "Go have fun on your date."

"You can tell us if you need anything, Rin," Shiemi says, a smile on her face.

Yukio nods in agreement. "Just call us." (As if Rin would ever interupt one of their dates - he sees how much they need the time alone together and he's not going to ruin it for them by being a _fucking crybaby_.) And then Yukio and Shiemi are gone, leaving Rin and Suguro to talk.

"Come on," Suguro mutters, releasing Rin's wrist and tilting his head in the direction of the corridor opposite the one Yukio and Shiemi had just took. "Let's go somewhere more private."

Suguro leads Rin to an empty classroom, and Rin enters first, moving immediately to the nearest desk and sitting on top of it, pulling his legs up beneath him and letting his tail brush along the desk around him before falling still. He drops the sword bag next to him. After a moment of hesitation, Suguro sits on top of the next desk down with his legs hanging off the side, a couple of feet between them. After that, the air feels heavy, both of them needing this conversation to happen, but neither knowing how to start.

"...You probably want an explanation, right?" Rin says eventually, resting his arms across his knees and looking at his hands.

"No, not really." Suguro answers with such honesty that it surprises Rin, and he turns to look at him with slightly wide eyes. "I mean- I won't say no to an explanation, but I can guess why you kept quiet."

Rin looks back down at his hands. If they're going to have this entire conversation now, then Rin supposes he's going to go the full length. His hand moves to undo the cover over his wrist, stripping it bare like he hasn't done since he arrived at this school. It feels like a relief - like a fresh injury finally getting air after being covered up so long. He wonders if Suguro feels like this everytime the two of them are in a room together, or if he's only just feeling it now that the two of them are alone and in such close proximity. Suguro doesn't really cover his own words, Rin had noticed after that first confrontation they'd had in the classroom. If his is covered, it's only by the school jacket.

With a sigh, he just looks at the words. "My whole life has always been a mess," he begins, and he can feel Suguro looking at him, confused as to why he's starting like this, but he needs to go from the beginning. "The other kids at school called me a demon child, and I got into fights all the time. Eventually, I just... stopped goin' to school. Dad - I mean, Father Fujimoto - must've figured out _why_ I didn't wanna be there, 'cause as soon as school stopped being mandatory, he stopped makin' me go. All 'round, I had a pretty shitty childhood - not as shitty as yours, but bad."

"What do you mean 'not as shitty as mine?" Suguro snaps, eyes narrowed on Rin's face.

"I asked Shima an' Miwa about your temple-"

"No I know that-" Suguro cuts in. "I mean- You _shouldn't_  fuckin' compare our childhoods like that."

Rin recoils as if struck, startled. He doesn't understand the problem ( _it's because you're a stupid fucking idiot_ , his mind hisses). Suguro is angry, but Rin can't for the life of him pin point _what_ he's said to cause it. "W-What?" He manages, thoughts stalled.

"If you put our experiences together like that," Suguro says, eyebrows still together in anger, but his tone softer. "If you rank your pain against mine - then it'll end up invalidatin' your own. It ain't healthy, so stop it."

Rin stares at him. "Okay," he answers, surprised. He- he wasn't expecting that. Honestly, he thought this whole conversation was going to end in tears for him, but so far it's going pretty well. To be fair, it's only just started, but when you consider the fact that Rin usually fucks things up way faster, this is a goddamn miracle.

With the shake of his head, Rin tries to recollect his thoughts.

"I didn't find out everyone was actually _right_  about me being a 'demon child' until a couple'a days before I came here," Rin says after a moment of silence, dropping his gaze back down and continuing. "It... Well. It was probably the worst moment of my life."

"Can you tell me what happened?" Suguro asks quietly, and Rin turns to look at him again. He ponders if he wants to rehash all of that bullshit right now - if he wants to spill the fact that he got his own dad killed.

He did tell himself was going to tell Suguro everything.

"I-" he stops, bites his lip, starts again. "I got into a fight with someone - some fuckin' _prick_ \- but he was possessed by a demon. I'd only just started seein' the little black ball demons, so I guess the seal on my powers must've started breaking, but I didn't know that at the time. Dad showed up to save me, and he took me back to the monastry, gave me my sword, and told me to get as far away as possible. I-" He pauses and takes a deep breath, then swallows. He's not proud of what he did, and no matter _what_  he said to Amaimon that time, he blames himself entirely. If he hadn't- God, if only he'd been thinking, dad would still be here and Rin wouldn't have to flounder through life like the absolute fucking piece of shit he is, because dad always had all the answers but now he can't give them. Rin misses him so fucking much. He's such a fuck up for getting dad killed.

"I had no idea what was going on," Rin mutters, looking away from Suguro and leaning forward so his hair covers his eyes. "And he wasn't telling me anything. I got angry and- I told him that I hate him, and then Satan possessed him." He sucks in a deep breath, and from the corner of his eye he see Suguro stretch a hand in his direction, as if to comfort him, and Rin _wants that_ more than anything, but if he gives in he might never finish. "Satan possessed him, and the Gehenna gate was sucking us both in, so I pulled the sword out to save us.

"Not that I was able to," Rin sniffles. "Because dad died anyway, and now i'm a demon with _nothing to show for it_."

Rin doesn't realise he's crying until he feels tears land on his hands, and now that he _knows_ he is, it's impossible to stop. Trying to supress them, he presses his hands over his face. It doesn't work; sobs shake his body, and he curls over on the table.

A hand lands on his back, and Rin jumps, spinning around to find it's just Suguro. That- he can deal with that, if it's just Suguro (not that it _would_  be anyone else - they're _supposed_  to be having a conversation and here Rin is, crying). Without even thinking about it, Rin leans towards the other and Suguro shifts to accompany him, both his arms coming up to cradle him against his chest as Rin presses his face into Suguro's shoulder and lets himself cry.

God, he realises what Yukio meant now, when he said his soulmate is finding that ray of hope he didn't know he needed - it's like finding the last piece to the puzzle of his existence, and _finally_  something slots together.

Here? Sitting on this table in a classroom long after the school day has ended? It's unconventional, sure, but Rin's never felt this safe in his life. The arms wrapping around him are strong and stable, gripping so tight they should hurt, but they ground Rin in the present. For now it's enough to get him through this.

They stay like that for a while - Rin doesn't know how long, but he spends most of it crying. Eventually, he sniffles one last time, and then draws back. Suguro's arms shift with him, letting him move.

"I'm okay now," Rin murmurs, putting one hand on Suguro's shoulders to steady himself, the other wiping at his face.

The hands on Rin's body tighten. "You're not," Suguro argues softly. "But that's okay."

The room falls silent again, and Suguro doesn't seem like he wants to let go - not that Rin _wants_  him to. With a sigh, he closes his eyes and lowers his head back down to Suguro's shoulder, relaxing against him. He doesn't remember the last time someone outside of his family actually gave him any form of good physical contact - actually, now that he thinks about it, he doesn't think anyone ever actually _has_? No wonder this shit feels so good - he doesn't want to move for the next five years.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Rin murmurs. "That was... pretty shitty of me."

"I get it," Suguro says softly. "I understand. It hurts, but- Fuck, I probably would'a done the same thing."

It's silent again, and Rin can tell Suguro wants to say something more, so he waits, listening to the thump of his heart.

Suguro swallows, and Rin feels it against his forehead. "Your dad's death wasn't your fault," he says eventually, and _holy fuck_  Rin didn't think he was going to say _that_. "If he was really as good as you say, then he'll've known you didn't mean it - teenagers are just fuckin' assholes like that, and he was raisin' two of ya."

Rin inhales sharply, not understanding. "But I-"

"Shut up," Suguro snaps. "I mean it. You can't be held responsible for the actions of _literal Satan_."

Silently, Rin just lets the words wash over him. He doesn't know if he believes him, or if he ever will, but he doesn't want to have that conversation right now. "I'm gonna kill Satan," Rin says instead, his hand fisting in the back of Suguro's shirt, knowing _exactly_ the kind of reaction his words are going to get.

"What?" Suguro asks, body jolting slightly. "Th-That's my dream! Get your own!"

"My family, my mess," Rin says. "Move over big boy, i'll take him out."

"That literally makes _no fuckin' sense_ -"

"Oh well! If you're gonna be such a goddamn _baby_  about it we'll just have to take him down together," Rin cuts in, pressing a smile into Suguro's shoulder.

With a sigh, Suguro moves one of his hands to rest in Rin's hair. "Alright, fine," he says. "I suppose I can accept that."

"We'll be a power couple, Suguro," Rin says, pulling back to grin up at him. "We'll kick ass, we'll kick Satan's ass- heck, we'll kick each other's ass!"

Suguro snorts, a grin of his own covering his face. Rin thinks it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. If he could see Suguro's face for the rest of his life, then he could probably die happy.

"You can just call me by my name, ya know," Suguro says suddenly, looking away. Rin can see a light blush on his checks, and his breath catches. He lied, before - _this_  is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

" _Ryuji_ ," Rin says softly, testing out the way the word feels in his mouth. He's watching the other's face intently, and relishes in the way Ryuji's face grows redder because holy shit, _he fucking did that!_ He pulls away from Ryuji, untangling his tail from where it had unconsciously curled around Ryuji's forearm, and jumps off the table. He dusts himself off before spinning around and offering Ryuji a hand. "D'you wanna go to my room so we can cuddle the fuck outta each other?"

Ryuji blinks at Rin, stares at his outstretched hand, look at his face, and then back down at the hand. He snorts, then grins. "Sure _Rin_ , why the fuck not," he says, his own hand reaching to grasp Rin's tightly. Rin thinks it's pretty fucking great that his soulmate doesn't seem to want to let go of him now that they have each other, because that's sure as hell how Rin feels right now. And holy shit? Ryuji said _his name_  he's going to _fucking die_. He shoulders the sword bag again and then they're leaving.

The trip to Rin's dorm passes in a daze, mostly because Ryuji holds Rin's hand the entire way there ( _goddamn it feels so nice_  - who knew positive physical contact was such a good experience? Rin sure as fuck didn't) and partially because he's so fucking tired.

When they get there Rin decides there's no time to waste with _hassles_  such as _door knobs_ and just kicks the door open. It goes about as well as one would expect, and he's pretty sure Ryuji is  _strongly disapproving_ , but also? This building is old as fuck anyway - Rin isn't even sure it's safe for people to be living in it. One broken door doesn't matter - who _cares_ if it just so happens to be the front door he broke? Rin certainly doesn't give a shit! Yukio, on the other hand, will _absolutely_  shit himself, so Rin reluctantly pulls his hand from Ryuji's to put it back up once they're inside.

It looks as good as new, and Rin dusts off his hands before grabbing Ryuji's again and tugging him up the stairs.

"Let's agree to never tell Yukio about that," Rin says as he goes.

"It's gonna be pretty fuckin' hard for him to miss it, you dingus," Ryuji retorts with an accompanying sigh. "He's gotta go through it to get home."

"I'll just be like 'Yukio you broke the door?!? Oh well it is old what can ya do'." Rin dismisses, and they come to a stop at Rin's dormroom door. "It'll all work out."

This time Rin decides to opt for the more normal approach and reaches out to open the door using the handle. It opens before them easily, and Rin doesn't even have to pick it up off the floor. Okay so _maybe_  Rin is starting to regret kicking down the front door - it's another notch on his infinite list of fuck ups that's been growing since he was been born.

Rin dumps his sword in it's usual place of leaning against his dresser while Ryuji looks around Rin's room, which seems really _dumb_  to Rin because it's nothing special and he shares it with _Yukio_ , for fuck's sake. Then he remembers that he's never actually let anyone in here besides himself, Yukio and Shiemi, so this is the first time one of his new friends has been in his room. And now he's a little bit shy, his own eyes darting around the room. _Shit_ , did he leave anything weird lying around?

Ryuji doesn't comment on the room, just sits himself on Rin's bed.

"It's tidier than I expected," Ryuji then says, shooting a grin Rin's way.

"Mean," Rin says with a pout, collapsing down next to Ryuji. "Yukio makes me keep it clean," he admits, shifting on the bed to lay down against the wall.

"That makes sense," Ryuji comments. He hesitates, but then drops to lay besides Rin. Immediately, Rin shifts to rest his head on Ryuji's shoulder, and Ryuji moves to accommodate him. It's not long before they're a tangled mess, but really, it's not Rin's fault if his head fits perfectly under Ryuji's chin, or if being curled up against his soulmate like this feels like a level of safety he hasn't had since dad died.

"I don't expect us to, ya know," Ryuji begins quietly, and Rin can feel the vibrations of his voice against his forehead. "Instantly become okay with each other just because we're soulmates. If i'm doin' anythin' wrong then you've gotta tell me."

Rin hums in agreement. "Same goes to you," he slurs, because he hasn't been sleeping much lately and he _did_  want to take a nap after school, and being here like this is so warm and cozy it's making him extra tired.

"You can talk to me about anythin'," Ryuji stresses, his hold tightening slightly.

"I know," Rin answers quietly, forcing himself out of the depths of the sleepy haze he was in to be able to answer. He knows this shit is important. "Bein' together isn't like. It's not gonna just _fix_  all of our problems, an' communication is key."

"Right," Ryuji murmurs, and something relaxes in his shoulders and he finally melts into the cuddle. "As long as you know."

"Again - _same to you_ ," Rin stresses. "I'm kinda dumb but I can listen." He yawns and presses his face closer into Ryuji's chest.

"People are smart in different ways," Ryuji is saying, but _fuck_ , Rin is really tired. The hold he has on Ryuji relaxes, and his breathing evens, and he really hopes they can just have this conversation tomorrow because he's gonna fall asleep any minute now.

There's a hand in Rin's hair, and he hears a little sigh, and then he slips into sleep, more content than he's been in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> So yukio uhhhh. Feels kinda?? ooc here. And thats because hes known shiemi for a long time. They meet in canon when theyre 13 but here its like. 10ish. So yeah. I feel like a lot of yukios depression in canon stems from the fact that he thinks he has no one, but here when he has shiemi Like That he clearly isnt and she doesnt let him think he is. That also makes rin and yukios relationship closer its a damn domino effect. 
> 
> A thing that Rin kinda does in canon is that he lowkey kinda. Idolises his friends and brother. And makes them perfect people in his mind. So i Tried to do that here. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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